22 December 2010

Home for the Holidays

Mom says there's no place like Home for the Holidays.  I did not know where that place is located but mom explained that at the holidays you get to go be with all of the people you love at the same time, which is pretty much my main objective, so I knew I would like it there.

It turns out that Home for the Holidays is in a town called We-Scons-In.  The first holiday was Thanksgiving.  It is difficult to describe it in words so I put together a re-enactment with mom and dad:

Dramatic Re-Enactment

At Thanksgiving,

I got to be Thankful for new people,
I got to be Thankful for old people,
and I got to be Thankful for plaid people.

I got to re-gift my crate.  YES!!  (But then it was re-gifted back to me...like fruitcake.)

I got to break the rules,
without getting in trouble.

I got to give comfort.
I got to leave Brody on the floor.  Hehe.

Soon we will be back at Home for the Holidays for a day called Christmas.  When we get done with We-Scon-Sin we will come back to Bluehouse Land and spend the rest of the winter curling up in front of the fireplace and waiting for spring time to come again.

11 October 2010


You don't usually hear about Fall being a time for new beginnings, but this one sure has been, at least for me!

For one thing, it has marked the beginning of my modeling career.  Believe it or not, Ms. Josie V. Nick will be appearing in TWO calendars for 2011: A Rotta Love Plus and BAD RAP.  Woot!!  I hear that the A Rotta Love calendars are going fast, so be sure to order yours today.  (The BAD RAP ones will be going on sale in a couple of weeks.)

My second new career is...

...wait for it...

...therapy dog!  Double Woot!!

One day Mom and I went to Teedy-Eye class like we normally do, but when we got there there we saw weird dogs that I had never met before, and a new Nice Lady was in charge.  I had to do all of the normal stuff -- sit, stay, walk nice, etc., but you are not going to believe this -- mom and Nice Lady wanted me to do it WITHOUT TREATS!  What the heck, people!

Anyway, just to be polite I did everything they asked me to do.  At the end, mom and Original Nice Lady (the normal Teedy-Eye instructor), jumped up and down like crazy people and took pictures of me.  Original Nice Lady even gave me something called a potato chip (okay it was more like 10 potato chips), so I must have done the right thing when I was polite for nothing earlier.  The crunchy deliciousness was definitely worth it.  

Then they tied a Teedy-Eye bandanna around my neck:

Teedy-Eye Represent.

On the way home, Mom put on her favorite Miley Cyrus song, dedicated it to me, sang it at the top of her lungs with a fake microphone, and cried a little happy tear....

OMG. it. was. so. embarrassing.

I did not have to wait very long to put my new skills to work, because soon after that we heard there was a little girl who had a Very Bad Fear of Dogs.   The girl's mom wanted to help her feel safe around dogs again, so she did what any logical parent would do -- she called a pit bull rescue, of course!  I met the Nice Girl and showed her that she did not need to be afraid of good doggies.  We had a very nice day and I hope I get to meet her again soon.

Josie V. Nick, reporting for duty.

Now that I am gainfully employed both a Model and a Therapy Dog, mom and dad told me that it is time that I retire from my old job (Assistant Manager of Backyard Critters, etc.).  Ironically they made me retire on my best day ever on the job.  The day they asked for my resignation, I had caught a sassy rabbit that had been lingering too long by the tomatoes, taunting me with its Tail of Fluff and Insolence.  I was expecting Mom and Dad to jump for joy but instead they looked pretty sad.  After escorting me into the house they performed a brief ceremony for the rabbit, whom they even named. (Hop-A-Long, in case you're wondering).  Good riddance.

I am rambling a bit so I will try to keep the rest of my update short and sweet.  Yesterday I graduated from Rott N' Pitt Ed.  I will really miss that class and the Very Nice Helpers that answered all of Mama's questions and helped me be my best.  I will also miss the chance to parade around in front of Paige's camera once a week -- she is always capturing my best side!   Behold exhibits A, B, and C:

Walkin' the walk.
Taking a break with my #1 fan.
Even this fence cannot hide the cuteness that is Jo.

So as you can see I have been pretty busy, but not to worry -- I am still finding time for a good nap in the sun.

Til next time,

Josie Valentine Nick, CGC, TDI

02 September 2010

Jo-Z for Prez

That crazy mom of mine has entered me in a calendar contest and, with your help, she says I might actually have a chance!

I, moiself, have always enjoyed a good competition.  If you do too, you can vote for me to be part of BAD RAP's 2011 Calendar here.   (BAD RAP is a fantastic organization that aided in the rescue of my fellow bust doggies.)

As Miss Piggy once put it, "There is the satisfaction of providing your public with a vision of true beautology, true sytlisity, - how can I put it? – true glamorositude."  


Josie V.

13 August 2010

Back to Work

I don't know if you people have noticed, but summer vacation is almost over!  Time flies when you're spending all day chasing the critters.

Last night a big storm came to Bluehouse Land.  The thunder didn't wake me up but the sound of Brody's babyish whimpering did!  As I was laying awake waiting for Brody to be a man (like that could ever happen), I heard a big thump.  Mom and Dad got out of bed and all four of us looked out the window.  A big tree was attacking Bluehouse Land!  I really wanted to go outside and defend my kingdom from the tree but Dad made me go back to bed instead.  He really should have let me:

Anyway, now that summer vacation is almost over I have been very busy.  You would think it was enough to just do a good job at my critter-hunting, but you would be wrong.  Mom has me on a busier schedule than a Chinese gymnast!  A typical week looks like this:

  • Monday.  Therapy Dog Class.  This is where I am learning to be a Teedy-Eye.  At this week's class I got to meet a lot of kids and I loved them a lot and they loved me too.  This is a mostly fun class except when the instructor puts the pile of summer sausage on the floor and all of us dogs have to LEAVE IT.  Whoever invented The Leave It should be locked in a room with Brody during a thunderstorm!
  • Wednesday.  Tricks Class.  This class is the BEST omg I get so many treats.  So far I have learned pout, spin, high five, and crawl.  Next week there is a rumor that I will learn how to open a cupboard door.  (Really people?!  Sometimes, you humans do not think ahead.  But I am not complaining.)
  • Thursday.  Dog Safety.  This is not a class but just a fun time where I get to hang out with nice kids and teach them that you should not flail at the dog but that you should instead act like a sane human being and give the dog a little time to sniff you before you assault it with your spastic gestures of friendship, thankyouverymuch.  
  • Sunday. Pit Bull Education.  I haven't been to this yet but I will start soon.  This class is where mom and dad learn about how to remind me Who is in Charge Here.  In other words, it should be a real hoot!

I try to catch some beauty rest between appointments.

'Til next time, your one and only,

Josie Valentine


06 July 2010

Nappin' and a Scratchin'

Hello my Long-Lost Peeps!  

You have probably wondering why I have not been doing a very good job on keeping you up to date on Josie Life.  The truth is, Josie Life has been on vacation because it is summer time now!   

When I first came to my Forever Home in Blue House Land, mama had me working hard.  I had to learn so many new things about my house and my new people, and then I had to learn how to be a Good Citizen and how to listen to mama at agility class, and I had to work hard to grow all my shiny fur, too.  

I still have a lot of work to do -- in fact, mama says I am starting my Teedy-Eye class next week (I'd better rest up while I can!).  But she also says that I have the whole Rest of My Life to become a Teedy-Eye and that for now, I just get to be a regular dog and enjoy my first summer of freedom. 

So I have been doing a whole lot of patio sittin':

And yard watchin':

Fancy-new-clothes wearin':

Don't forget some afternoon wrasslin':

And of course, treat eatin':

And my personal favorite, a whole lot of new-people meetin'*:

I hope that you are having a relaxing summer, too!


Josie Valentine

*Bonus Instructional Pictorial: How to Meet a New Person by Josie V. Nick:

Step 1.  Sniff person and see if they have any treats in their hand.
Step 2.  If treat, sit for treat.
Step 3.  If no treat, wag tail excessively until treat is produced (see Figure 1).

Figure 1.

Step 4. Receive scratches behind the ear.   Begin to entice others in the surrounding area to come forward and produce a more full-body scratch.  Also, they might have treats.  (See Figure 2.)

Figure 2.

Step 5. Attempt to crawl inside new person.
Step 6. Barring success in Step #5, get as close to new person as possible.
Step 7. Continue to mush yourself into new person for as long as possible, i.e. until they make you stop.  Tip:  Closing your eyes will generally prolong the mushing process.
Step 8. Enjoy new friend.  (See Figure 3). 

Figure 3.

14 June 2010

Left to my Own Devices

Mama is on vacation.  One day she packed up her suitcase, kissed us puppies goodbye and left, and hasn't come back yet.  But dad says she'll be back in a few days and that I shouldn't worry about her.

I really miss her (but probably not as much as she misses me, let's face it people).  I have been pretty bored without her around to entertain me all day, although Rick comes to visit us every day to take us for a walk so that has been pretty fun.  Other than that I've been doing a lot of napping.   But here is some humor in lieu of a good Josie story.

What Dogs Think:
8:00 am -  Dog food! My favorite thing!
 9:30 am -  A car ride! My favorite thing!
 9:40 am -  A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm -  Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm -  Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm -  Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm -  Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm -  Wow! Watched TV with the people!  My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

What Cats Think
Day 983 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.   They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.  Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, Nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet..  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.   However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.  The bastards.  I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously slow in the head.

Ha!  Cats are so foolish.


28 May 2010

Summer Lovin'

Hanging out with dad and Brody:

Checking out the goods from the outside kitchen:

Mama's boy alert!

05 May 2010

Good Citizen, Good Neighbor

Hola mis amigos!  Happy Cinco de Mayo!  Since today is my last agility class, mom decided it was time for me to start Spanish lessons.  Just kidding.  

So are you ready for some good news?  I finally became a Canine Good Citizen just like my mom always wanted me to be!  Wahoo!  

After I became a Good Citizen we came home and had a party with a bunch of my two-legged friends to celebrate.

Dad fed me a bunch of meatballs as a reward...om nom nom nom.  (Later I got a tummy ache, but it was worth it.)

Some of my fans (Rick, dad, and Auntie Katie):

I got all of the attention.

Kiss me, I'm a good citizen!

It was a good party.

Today mom took me in to meet some new friends at State Farm, and I was really excited to run around with all of the cows and horses but then we got there and it wasn't really a farm, but an office.  At any rate, the people there were very nice.  Mom wanted them to meet me so they knew what kind of dogs they were insuring.  Mom said thank you to them for not discriminating against dogs like me.